From: John Beasley (beasley@austarnet.com.au)
Date: Sun Oct 06 2002 - 03:28:38 BST
Hi Squonk,
I must confess I find it hard to follow your argument throughout you
response to my recent post.
So I'll pick a couple of points that interest me.
SQUONK: "In my view, searching for one's centre is a very dangerous journey.
I feel we should ask if it is a good move for us to suggest people try?
Maybe it would be better for us to accept the journey as possible but not to
be undertaken lightly?"
It is the only journey, in my view. All else leads nowhere that I want to
go. And yes, exploration is a potentially dangerous occupation, as is life
generally. To not explore would be for me to succumb to a life of "quiet
despair". But I'm not pushing anyone else to do something that feels
threatening to them. It wouldn't work anyway, as this journey is fuelled by
a desire for the 'truth', not by some external push.
There is a delicious irony, in my view, that the only other person in this
forum who also voices your fears of the dynamic is Bo.
Actually, I cannot agree totally with the description of this journey that
is challenged in the quote above, as it derives from your words, not mine.
(You previously said "the centre of who we are is not a blank void, but
rather something you can indeed search for.")
I view the journey differently. As I see it, as infants we experience an
unmediated reality. As we begin to separate ourselves from this whole, we
create a boundary that forms the basis for later subject/object thinking. It
is a natural boundary, inevitable, and it is then used to enter into the
whole complex 'object relations' struggle with parents and others. We emerge
from this as differentiated egos, struggling to survive in a fearful world.
The first casualty of our fear driven compromises, that seek to guarantee us
some love and care when we are incapable of gaining these for ourselves, is
our authenticity. We learn to prostitute our core in return for an uncertain
payoff. Fear rules.
Somewhere in adulthood, if we are lucky, we will learn that our hopes - for
love, for fame, for wealth - are futile. [The Sufis generally refused entry
to their schools to younger people, who could hardly expect to be adequately
disillusioned as yet. The best candidates were people who had enjoyed some
success in life. They were even less likely to retain strong illusions that
just a bit more striving will change Hell into Paradise.] Once we give up
hope we are freed to examine what is.
This is the journey of exploration that interests me. It involves inquiring
into what is going on, moment by moment, as openly as possible. I understand
that if I continue, this will bring to the surface to be faced and defused,
those fear driven compromises of early childhood which still shape my life.
It will also reveal aspects of reality that are presently closed to me,
since they are too subtle for a fear impelled ego to ascertain. Ultimately
it may bring me to a point where my exploration of what is becomes more
central to my existence than my ego, and as I integrate what I experience I
might even reach a point where ego dissolves in immediacy. I have no
guarantee of these outcomes, but they appear possible, the path appears
plausible, and I am intrigued by those who have travelled it before me, and
who may offer guidance along the way.
All things considered, it might be worth the gamble.
Regards,
John B
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