From: SQUONKSTAIL@aol.com
Date: Mon Oct 14 2002 - 20:34:06 BST
Bo: Are you there?
Platt: Yes sir.
<pause>
Bo: Are you there Platt?
Platt: I am here my captain.
<pause>
Bo: Is that you Platt?
Platt: Yes, it is I sir. Still here.
Bo: Good man. Good man. Pash me my reshtorative Platt, theresh a good chap.
Oooooh!
A limp index finger nods instructively a few small inches away from the half
filled glass.
For some obscure reason, the glass responds most uncomfortably into the
captain's hand.
Bo: Mind what you're doing can't you!
Platt: Sorry your highness.
<pause>
Bo: Good man Platt, good man. I knew i could alwaysh count on you.
As a trushty companion, a shervant, and...
Platt: A friend sir?
Bo: Not quite Platt. Not quite. I wouldn't get carried away there?
Platt: Of course not sir. Please forgive my imposition? But i shall not be
jumping ship sir.
Bo: What! What did you shay? What wash that about ships?
Platt: Only that i will stay by your side through thick and thin captain.
Bo: Oh! Yesh. I shee. I have been the victim of a vile injushtish Platt, a
vile injushtish of the mosht outlandish variety! Oooooooh!
Platt: Indeed you have your holiness. You have been insulted and castigated
unto a dark hole.
Bo: I like holesh! Holesh are nice. Theresh nothing wrong with holesh Platt!
Platt: As you wish.
Bo: Wishing doeshn't come into it. Theresh allot to be shaid for holesh.
Platt: I have a message for you your supremeness.
Bo: You have! Who Platt? Who ish it from? Quickly man!
Platt: Mr. Beasley sir.
Bo: Beashley! Beashley! You musht be mishtaken Platt, look again?
Platt: It clearly says...
Bo: No! No. Bashtard doesh not shend meshages to me! I condeshend to meshage
him, if it pleash me. Got that?
Platt. Of course my honourable patron. i shall never forget it.
Bo: Good man. If indeed you are a man? Who signed that meshage? Look again!
Platt: Sam i believe sir.
Bo: Ah! Sham! The apple of mine eye! <sings> Clime upon my knee, Shammy
booooy'!
Platt: Sam pays you most humble tribute my liege, and wishes you fond days
away from the bad mouthings of yorn enemies.
Bo: Have you ever conshidered learning to shpeak English Platt?
Platt: Very often your excellency. But i fear i do not have wit nor reason to
learn it master.
Bo: Bollocksh. Think of my SOLAQI interpretashion ash two shwinging nutsh
Platt, a dishtincshon imposhed by reashon itshelf!
Platt: But i do your mightiness, at every available opportunity. There is a
final message your totallness.
Bo: I am not shure if i have the energy to deal with that jusht now my good
fellow. But then again, my public needsh me, and i musht prevail? Who ish it
from?
Platt: Squonk sir.
Bo: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
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