From: Mark Steven Heyman (markheyman@infoproconsulting.com)
Date: Fri Oct 22 2004 - 16:32:19 BST
Hi all,
Here are the results, so far, of the Poetry Showdown. Jain broke the
tie with her vote for "Sad Steps" but I tied it up again with my vote
for "Anniversary."
So.... I guess maybe the Quality level is just too close to call?
But maybe more votes will come in as some of the less regular listers
check their mail.
The results and comments are collected below, and the poems are
pasted at the end, for reference.
Thanks to all. Poetry's important to me, and I enjoyed your comments
very much.
Best,
msh
joe:
I liked the Anniversary of My Death. It spoke to me.
arlo:
I would choose #1 [Anniversary]. In some ways, mostly in spirit, it
reminds me of Goethe's Prolog in Faust (albeit somewhat shorter).
... it pulled me into an emotive state deeper and more "still" than
the second (partially, perhaps, because it sounds less oratory and
more personal).
msh:
As I said I really like both poems. I give a slight nod to
"Anniversary" It's a poem I memorized years ago and have recited
countless times to friends and family, at every occasion, which is
one reason I'm not invited over any more, I'm sure. To my surprise,
the version in my memory has an extra "what" in the last line:
And bowing not knowing what to what
I like the idea behind the poem, you know, there's a day we'll die,
we just don't know what day it is, and slip past it every year. The
last fires waving and the silence setting out... Like Joe said, it
speaks to me.
Sad Steps is one of my favorites, and I love the trademark Larkin
irony, but I've always been slightly uncomfortable with the
parenthetical line
(Stone-coloured light sharpening the roofs below)
because it's one of the rare times you'll hear Larkin stretching to
meet the form, continuing the "blow" from above and anticipating the
"No" below. But this is a minor weakness in a fine poem, IMO, of
course.
jim:
Took a couple of reads, but #2 [Sad Steps].
I think it's the ironic sentiment. #1 is a bit too winsome for me.
I.e #2 encomapsses more: because of its nod and wink to the ribald
seems more sincere. There seems to have been more lost.
jain:
- I love Sad Steps.
Vivid imagery, wonderful unexpected rhythms, lots of room to move
around in, and a mood that sneaks up on you, gradually, rather than
repeated throughout as in Anniversary....
sam:
I prefer the second, [Sad Steps] although I like both. I find the
second more bodily, and more humourous, hence easier to identify
with, not least its first line, which is so refreshing and basic.
platt abstains:
My sense of quality finds both poems very low quality, especially
when compared to:
Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
THE POEMS
For the Anniversary of My Death
Every year without knowing it I have passed the day
When the last fires will wave to me
And the silence will set out
Tireless traveller
Like the beam of a lightless star
Then I will no longer
Find myself in life as in a strange garment
Surprised at the earth
And the love of one woman
And the shamelessness of men
As today writing after three days of rain
Hearing the wren sing and the falling cease
And bowing not knowing to what
Sad Steps
Groping back to bed after a piss
I part the thick curtains, and am startled by
The rapid clouds, the moon's cleanliness.
Four o'clock: wedge-shaped gardens lie
Under a cavernous, a wind-pierced sky.
There's something laughable about this,
The way the moon dashes through the clouds that blow
Loosely as cannon-smoke to stand apart
(Stone-coloured light sharpening the roofs below)
High and preposterous and separate--
Lozenge of love! Medallion of art!
O wolves of memory! Immensements! No,
One shivers slightly, looking up there.
The hardness and the brightness and the plain
Far-reaching singleness of that wide stare
Is a reminder of the strength and pain
Of being young; that it can't come again,
But is for others undiminished somewhere.
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