Re: MD Poetic Quality

From: Charles Roghair (ctr@pacificpartssales.com)
Date: Sat Oct 23 2004 - 15:47:45 BST

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    Hello:

    I like them both, but Anniversary strikes me as slightly self indulgent
    whereas Sad Steps spoke of wolves of memory and the moon, to which I
    can relate.

    Sad Steps.

    Best regards,

    Chuck

    On Oct 22, 2004, at 8:32 AM, Mark Steven Heyman wrote:

    > Hi all,
    >
    > Here are the results, so far, of the Poetry Showdown. Jain broke the
    > tie with her vote for "Sad Steps" but I tied it up again with my vote
    > for "Anniversary."
    >
    > So.... I guess maybe the Quality level is just too close to call?
    > But maybe more votes will come in as some of the less regular listers
    > check their mail.
    >
    > The results and comments are collected below, and the poems are
    > pasted at the end, for reference.
    >
    > Thanks to all. Poetry's important to me, and I enjoyed your comments
    > very much.
    >
    > Best,
    > msh
    >
    >
    > joe:
    > I liked the Anniversary of My Death. It spoke to me.
    >
    > arlo:
    > I would choose #1 [Anniversary]. In some ways, mostly in spirit, it
    > reminds me of Goethe's Prolog in Faust (albeit somewhat shorter).
    >
    > ... it pulled me into an emotive state deeper and more "still" than
    > the second (partially, perhaps, because it sounds less oratory and
    > more personal).
    >
    > msh:
    > As I said I really like both poems. I give a slight nod to
    > "Anniversary" It's a poem I memorized years ago and have recited
    > countless times to friends and family, at every occasion, which is
    > one reason I'm not invited over any more, I'm sure. To my surprise,
    > the version in my memory has an extra "what" in the last line:
    >
    > And bowing not knowing what to what
    >
    > I like the idea behind the poem, you know, there's a day we'll die,
    > we just don't know what day it is, and slip past it every year. The
    > last fires waving and the silence setting out... Like Joe said, it
    > speaks to me.
    >
    > Sad Steps is one of my favorites, and I love the trademark Larkin
    > irony, but I've always been slightly uncomfortable with the
    > parenthetical line
    >
    > (Stone-coloured light sharpening the roofs below)
    >
    > because it's one of the rare times you'll hear Larkin stretching to
    > meet the form, continuing the "blow" from above and anticipating the
    > "No" below. But this is a minor weakness in a fine poem, IMO, of
    > course.
    >
    >
    > jim:
    > Took a couple of reads, but #2 [Sad Steps].
    >
    > I think it's the ironic sentiment. #1 is a bit too winsome for me.
    > I.e #2 encomapsses more: because of its nod and wink to the ribald
    > seems more sincere. There seems to have been more lost.
    >
    >
    > jain:
    > - I love Sad Steps.
    > Vivid imagery, wonderful unexpected rhythms, lots of room to move
    > around in, and a mood that sneaks up on you, gradually, rather than
    > repeated throughout as in Anniversary....
    >
    > sam:
    > I prefer the second, [Sad Steps] although I like both. I find the
    > second more bodily, and more humourous, hence easier to identify
    > with, not least its first line, which is so refreshing and basic.
    >
    >
    > platt abstains:
    > My sense of quality finds both poems very low quality, especially
    > when compared to:
    >
    > Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
    > Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
    > All mimsy were the borogoves,
    > And the mome raths outgrabe.
    >
    > THE POEMS
    >
    > For the Anniversary of My Death
    >
    > Every year without knowing it I have passed the day
    > When the last fires will wave to me
    > And the silence will set out
    > Tireless traveller
    > Like the beam of a lightless star
    >
    > Then I will no longer
    > Find myself in life as in a strange garment
    > Surprised at the earth
    > And the love of one woman
    > And the shamelessness of men
    > As today writing after three days of rain
    > Hearing the wren sing and the falling cease
    > And bowing not knowing to what
    >
    >
    >
    > Sad Steps
    >
    > Groping back to bed after a piss
    > I part the thick curtains, and am startled by
    > The rapid clouds, the moon's cleanliness.
    >
    > Four o'clock: wedge-shaped gardens lie
    > Under a cavernous, a wind-pierced sky.
    > There's something laughable about this,
    >
    > The way the moon dashes through the clouds that blow
    > Loosely as cannon-smoke to stand apart
    > (Stone-coloured light sharpening the roofs below)
    >
    > High and preposterous and separate--
    > Lozenge of love! Medallion of art!
    > O wolves of memory! Immensements! No,
    >
    > One shivers slightly, looking up there.
    > The hardness and the brightness and the plain
    > Far-reaching singleness of that wide stare
    >
    > Is a reminder of the strength and pain
    > Of being young; that it can't come again,
    > But is for others undiminished somewhere.
    >
    >
    >
    >
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