RE: MD The Transformation of Love

From: johnny moral (johnnymoral@hotmail.com)
Date: Mon Jun 16 2003 - 09:51:35 BST

  • Next message: Paul Turner: "Re: MD myths and symbols"

    Hi David,

    Thanks for replying.

    >This is a private message. I only wish to scold, not publicly embarrass
    >you.

    It looks like it came form moq.org and went to the list, so I will reply.
    Did it not? Did it go just to me? How can one tell? At any rate, don't
    worry about publically embarassing me, I can take it.

    >dmb had said:
    >"Since we have the ability to control reproduction and marriage is no
    >longer
    >a social or economic necessity, people get married as a matter of choice."
    >
    >Johnny replied:
    >Actually, there are millions of unintended pregnancies every year, and
    >there
    >is still such a thing as economic necessity, so this is a fairly ignorant,
    >callous statement. What is really being said here is "now that we give
    >women abortions and expect them to support themselves as equals, we don't
    >have to care for them or put up with their old-school nagging anymore. We
    >can get a younger one whenever we want."

    >dmb now says:
    >Huh? How bizzare! Just because some people don't or won't use contraception
    >does not negate the fact that people have the ability. We're talking about
    >the changing nature of marriage and relationships, not teen pegnancy.

    Contraception seems to fail once in a while, the ability is not so able.
    And it isn't always used. Millions of unintended pregnancies says it all,
    doesn't it? You brought up the issue of contraception, so apparently you
    agree it has something to do with the changing nature of marriage and
    relationships. Or, actually, you referred to "the ability to control
    reproduction", which presumably means contraception and abortion. If you
    are talking about abortion and not contraception, note that neither you nor
    I nor half of the population of this planet has the ability to get an
    abortion. (Equal reproductive rights are also a casualty)

    >I only conclude that women are now freer.

    That's a good rationalization. Not that I doubt that many western women
    desire that freedom and are thankful, but their desire for it was shaped by
    the Giant's values. The Giant now has twice as many worker bees and I'm
    sure it is happy.

    >They are no longer economically trapped or financially dependent.

    You mean trapped into staying with their husband? I guess not, but neither
    is a husband trapped into staying with his wife, even if she isn't a lawyer
    or something, which contrary to your rosy outlook, not all women are. And
    they are still econonically trapped and financially dependent, just on
    themselves instead of their husband. That might be a good thing or a bad
    thing for them, who knows.

    >I'm talking about choice,
    >about freedom, about the ability to marry for higher reasons, for emotional
    >and spiritual fulfillment rather that just the ancient and conventional
    >reasons.

    WHy does one need to marry for emotional and spiritual fulfillment? That's
    what I don't get about this. Why can't you have multiple sources of
    spiritual and emotional fulfillment? Like books, movies, forums, best
    friends, business partners, etc? I agree that marriage itself brings
    something to a relationship in terms of fulfillment, but I think that
    feeling is not long for this world. It is currently just an empty shell, a
    sort of play-acted fulfillment based on ideas of marriage that are being
    abolished. I don't see how that will continue to happen if marriage is not
    seen as life-long and life-giving. "I do, for now" is not so fulfilling, is
    it? [is that what you said when you got married? I know some vows leave
    out the for better or for worse part now.] I guess it is nice to know that
    someone is willing to officially be your spouse, even for now, rather than
    imply they are still looking for someone better, but it's still running on
    fumes of what it was. Your spouse is still might divorce you if someone
    more desirable comes along. if you can never exhale, if you can never feel
    that you are really stuck to each other now, it seems more restrictive and
    expensive and silly than fulfilling.

    >How you can construe this
    >as "ignorant or callous" is a mystery to me. I mean, there is reading
    >between the lines and then there is making up a bunch of bizzare nonsense
    >and then putting into my mouth.

    Your dismissal of teen pregnancy above was pretty callous also. Do you
    really think that is some unrelated issue? And I didn;t attribute anything
    to you you didn't say, I just tried to show how what you said has a flip
    side that might really be the real side, the selfish motive. But I think
    the real "selfish" thing here is the Giant, I actually don't think men
    sneakily figured out that they could get women to do the childbirth AND the
    working, and not even have to get married. But I think the Giant used
    those selfish desires of men to its advantage.

    >And this coming from a guy who has never
    >been married, from a guy who has actually played a role in destroying a
    >marriage!? I think this topic presents you with an excellent opportunity to
    >shut up about marriage and morality.

    I don't give myself that much credit. If it wasn't me it would have been
    someone else. I don't know that the husband ever found out, I think she
    just told him she wanted out of the marriage. Plus,to preserve moralty,
    decorum dictates I shouldn't have admitted to that (current memoir culture
    notwithstanding). I regret mentioning it, and forget why I did. I think I
    thought that it answered the personal insult that I lacked courage to go
    against the social currents, but now that I think about it, it doesn't
    really, because these days the social currents actually suggest unhappy
    married women go seduce some guy, and they still suggest that a guy should
    say yes when a beautiful women wants to be with him, so it wasn't an example
    of going against the social patterns at all.

    >HYP-O-CRITE noun. 1. A person pretends to have virtues, moral or
    >religious beliefs or principles, etc., that one does not really possess,
    >especially a person whose actions belie stated beliefs. 2. a person who
    >fiegns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, especially one whose
    >private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.

    I believe it is better to be a hypocrite than to conform ones stated beliefs
    to ones actions. And I never said I was entirely moral. But I will say it
    now, so no one can avoid my points by pointing to my transgressions ever
    again: I'm entirely moral. Never done nothing wrong or bad, always been
    good. I freed that woman (helped her out of a jam i guess), and didn't even
    use any force.

    Btw, in the bible, the people Jesus calls hypocrites (which means "actor")
    not only said all the things they should, but they actually did all the
    things they should also. Jesus wasn't accusing them of private sins (that's
    a different lesson - we are all sinners) he was referring to their lack of
    inner beliefs, their lack of true faith, underneath an exterior that went
    through all the motions, playing the part of a moral person (hence his
    choice of words).

    Uh oh, it's light outside now!

    Good morning!

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