Hullo David,
Thanks for your kind words in reponse to my query.
I am currently writing furiously about mysticism, morals and Pirsig. I am
using Wei Wu Wei as a convenient source of mystic 'dogma', and bringing in
Ken Wilber and Hameed Ali for more inclusive versions. So I won't try to
overlap too much with that.
You said about personal truth and personal experiences, "such things are
notoriously difficult to express in words, but I'd encourage you to give it
a shot anyway because they are as important as they are difficult. I'm
extremely interested in the topic." I agree on both counts. In my view
Pirsig's great strength is his understanding that 'we' emerge out of our
experiences of quality. I am currently reading Ali's book "The Point of
Existence" (A. H. Almaas is his pen name), in which he explores in great
detail the emergence of the self in infancy, and the narcissistic trauma it
eventually produces in each of us, as well as how this can be dealt with in
transformational work in adult life. This is not an easy book, but it offers
a very credible view which takes account of modern self psychology (Kohut)
and studies of infant development (Margaret Mahler), as well as Ali's own
studies and observations. So this is where I would go with the analytic and
intellectual part of myself, if I wanted to debate this.
But the much more difficult thing for me is to make sense of the experiences
which are creating a gradual and subtle transformation of my outlook.
Partly because these experiences are unspectacular (perhaps yours were
rather the opposite?) and the change is felt, rather than thought, I find it
very hard to get any grasp of it in words.
However there are a few things I can say. One is the oft repeated focus on
the here and now, on attending. A particularly powerful insight for me in
recent weeks is that 'enlightenment' (I hate the word, but it serves as
code) is not something to strive for. When I give up 'efforting' and just
keep returning to what is, in each moment, in a sense I am there. Certainly
my mind keeps darting off in all sorts of directions, and I lose the sense
of immediacy, and I believe that over time that balance can change, yet the
important thing is that I have in each moment the option of immediacy, and
that does not change.
A second powerful understanding is that the Superego, as Freud dubbed it, is
powerful and toxic. Whereas Freud believed that without superego the Id
would run rampant, and the best that could be hoped for was a reasonable
balance between these aspects of the personality (common misery), I
now see that the superego can be identified and contested whenever it
speaks, and that is part of liberation.
The area I have more difficulty with is what Ali calls essence, the various
qualities that make up our essential nature. These are present in the
infant, in an undeveloped form, are largely lost as the egoic self is
constructed,
and while common enough in adult life, are usually ignored and not valued.
The work that I do in the Diamond Essence group is largely about regaining
or developing awareness of these essential states. As a rather long term
sceptic, I find much of the language used in the group does not speak to me
or my experience. However, I am prepared to suspend disbelief to allow the
possibility that these somewhat subtle states will become more evident over
time. One of the strengths of the Diamond approach is that Ali respects the
individuality of each person's approach to the work. There is no attempt to
impose a sequence in the process, though obviously there is an unfolding
inherent in any such process.
Ali seems to believe quite strongly that this work is almost unachievable
alone. The group not only facilitates various processes, but serves to
intensify and hence clarify aspects of essence. Certainly I have experienced
a wide range of emotions in the workshops I have attended, ranging from
joyful liberation in the most recent one, to complete shut-down,
incomprehension and despair in one a year ago. The day after that workshop,
when I had already decided not to return, I experienced some hours of
altered perception as I wandered around central Sydney, quite hard to
quantify, but including a sensation of being more present, walking with a
strange lightness, despite having a painful infected toe where I had chopped
off my toenail with a maddock, and relating to people without the normal
barriers. I normally dislike crowded cities, so this feeling of lightness
and ease was unusual, to say the least, and convinced me to persevere with
the work.
However, I realise how insubstantial this must seem to anyone wishing to be
critical. I also have had great reservations about the moral vacuum around
many mystics. This is similar to Pirsig in his story about how he 'gave up'
at Benares Hindu University. There is something in me that revolts when I am
told that suffering is illusory. And if my house caught fire, I would far
prefer a down-to-earth neighbour who would ring the fire brigade, than a
mystic who would contemplate the rising smoke with wonder and delight. In
large part it is this issue I am addressing in my current writing.
Looking over this I am aware how little I can communicate of these matters.
Hopefully you can grasp enough to respond, perhaps with more detail of your
own experience.
Regards,
John B
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