From: Nick Clair (nclair@webxsol.com)
Date: Sat Apr 02 2005 - 05:58:51 BST
Very nice. Very nice.
-----Original Message-----
From: owner-moq_discuss@venus.co.uk [mailto:owner-moq_discuss@venus.co.uk]
On Behalf Of David Buchanan
Sent: Sunday, March 27, 2005 8:30 PM
To: 'moq_discuss@moq.org'
Subject: MD Happy Easter
Have you heard that Mel Gibson has re-edited "the Passion of the Christ".
Some viewers had complained that there was too much blood and gore. I guess
the idea is to depict torture and death in a way that even grandma and the
kids can enjoy with their popcorn.
Anyway, those changes had me thinking. What if it was re-made so that the
blood and gore was not so one-sided. I mean, the amount of graphic violence
doesn't bother me so much as the idea that Jesus does all the suffering and
the Romans hardly get scratched. The blood and gore needs to be more fairly
distributed, you know? Now imagine if Bruce Willis were cast as the lead to
give the film more of a "Die Hard" feel. I mean why can't we have a Jesus
who fights back, for Christ's sake?
It would be easy to take the idea too far. A muscle-bound rambo type would
work. "Are you gonna let me save the world this time, father?" And it would
be even more ridiculous the have steroid monster like Arnold because his
catch phrase, "I'll be back", would be ringing in everyone's ears even if he
never said the line. The is why I suggest Bruce. He's got that regular-guy
quality and a good sense of humor. I can see him winking from the cross and
saying something dry like, "you guys really kill me" or "thanks for all the
fish".
And speaking of crosses, why does it always have to be an unjust
crucifixion? Why not update the torture methods a little? People have seen
it too often and its horror has softened over the years. Even little old
ladies think nothing of wearing crucifixion on a necklace. No, we need
something that inspires fear and dread in today's imagination. Maybe take a
few scenes from the prisons of Iraq or Alabama.
And how about if he gets plastic surgery after rising from the dead so that
he looks exactly like Pontius Pilot. He uses this disguise to infiltrate the
palace and win his revenge. Oh. Wait. I guess there would be some problems
with historical accuracy if we show him having plastic surgery after coming
back to life. We'll say he was just in a coma.
Its just a thought.
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