Re: MD A Question of Balance / Rules of the Game

From: david buchanan (dmbuchanan@hotmail.com)
Date: Sun Nov 06 2005 - 00:44:24 GMT

  • Next message: Platt Holden: "RE: MD A Question of Balance / Rules of the Game"

    Howdy MOQers:

    Rebecca said:
    For me, it's how one reacts to the challenge that's important. If you read
    something and think 'wow, I'd like to throttle that guy' you'd better step
    back and ask yourself _why_? (apparently my favourite question). Is he just
    being an asshole that I should ignore (or perhaps make a subtle jab at), or
    are my beliefs being sincerely challenged and that's what I dislike? Once I
    calm down the answer usually comes, and it's usually the latter.

    dmb says:
    I'm definately with Rebecca here. As you may have noticed, I almost always
    respond to posts with with disagreement. Its not that I almost always
    disagree with everything written here of course. But that's what I choose to
    respond to. I think its much more fun and I learn a lot more that way. I
    even flatter myself by believeing that I almost alway choose to go after the
    greatest challenge. I like to think I'm going after the best of enemies.
    Naturally, I shudder at the idea of being forced to be sweet and agreeable.
    What a bloodless snooze-fest that would be. Fake and boring.

    I hope I know the difference between a real challenge and mere insult in
    what I read and write. I've probably crossed the line a few too many times
    and I don't feel good about that, but I like it up near that line. That's
    where the passion is. See, I don't thinking "care" necessarily means being
    polite or agreeable. I think Rebecca has a great point. A sincere challenge
    to one's beliefs can be very painful. It feels like an attack even if its
    not personal per se. But lifting weights is painful too. Growth doesn't
    occur within our comfort zone, you know?

    Sorry Ian, but I think we need heat too.

    I could politley say that Matt's post in this thread was a bit too long and
    nicely ask that he think about the value of brevity in this clogged forum.
    But its more fun to simply say, "Jeez, what a wind bag!". It makes the same
    point in way that he could hardly fail to notice, in a way that will get his
    goat, if you will. I think this is a genuine criticism even if I'm sassy
    about it. And who knows? Maybe next time he'll tighten up. More likely he'd
    write a long essay on the history of essays and the virtues of being a wind
    bag, but that's a response too. And if Matt had no doubts about the length
    of that piece then such a criticism wouldn't bother him. But if the phrase
    "wind bag" shoots through his heart like a burning arrow, well then you can
    bet your last buck that he has some doubts abou that post. And then, by
    extension, doubts about his ability as a writer and thinker will follow.
    Then, of course, the worthiness of entire being will come into question.
    Then they'll find the suicide note saying simply, "Sorry I was such a
    windbag. Love, Matt." Sigh. If I'd been nicer, Matt would still be alive
    today. Instead, he's been permanently recontextualized into a grave yard
    vocabulary. Guess I crossed the line that time, huh?

    Jeez, I'm such an asshole.

    dmb

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