Re: MD The Transformation of Love

From: Valence (valence10@hotmail.com)
Date: Sun Jun 15 2003 - 23:58:19 BST

  • Next message: Valence: "Re: MD The Eudaimonic MoQ"

    Hey Sam and all,
    In this interests of focus, I've just skipped right to meat of this one...

     SAM
    > Okeydokes, this is good. Lets have some 'terminological exactitude'. Let
    us accept: eros =
    > biological love (lust?); agape = social love (compassion?); amor =
    personal love (eudaimonic love?)

    RICK
    Okay, I'll accept all of that.

    SAM
    > Now, holding on to Pirsig's point that the levels don't intermingle, I
    agree that we have two
    > 'ethical' boundaries: eros vs agape, and agape vs amor where, as you point
    out, it would be just as
    > immoral to emphasise agape over amor as it is to emphasise eros over
    agape. So far so good.

    RICK
    So far so good.

    SAM
    The
    > question here is: what is adultery? ie what behaviour relating to marital
    relations is of low
    > Quality, and what is not?
    >
    > Eros over agape - let us call that simple adultery. A person seeks
    biological satisfaction and sets
    > aside the claims of the social values, with various undesirable
    consequences. (Implication - society
    > is justified in sanctioning those who do this?)

    RICK
    Well, I think it depends on what "sanctions" you have in mind. I think
    legal sanctions are too extreme. Perhaps "disrepute" is the justified
    social sanction.

    SAM
    > Agape over amor - what is this 'vice'? It is to place social constraints
    on the activities of an
    > autonomous individual. Yet, in what contexts would this be 'adultery'?
    Does this have to have a
    > biological expression? Your language of 'emotional cheating' comes closer
    to it, I think.

    RICK
    I picked that name because I don't think biology has to be a part of it.
    However, Pirsig does note that the 4th and 2nd levels have a sort of
    'alliance' against society, which is, in a sense, an enemy to both. This
    could offer us some insight into the relationship of eros and amor and their
    often correlative appearances.

    SAM
    > If we accept some form of person-centred MoQ, rather than
    intellect-centred, which is what my thesis
    > is trying to do (that might be a better name for it, come to think of
    it)...

    RICK
    Inorganic, Biological, Social, Personal? I guess that would make the
    choosing unit for the 4th level "personality"?

    SAM
    ...then the highest Quality
    > relationships are those where each of the different levels are satisfied,
    ie it is erotic,
    > compassionate and eudaimonic. Can there be a situation where the DQ
    demands of eudaimonia require
    > "Eros over agape"?

    RICK
    Well, in the legal past, adultery was the only recognized ground for
    divorce. And, get this, your confession to adultery was not enough! You
    had to prove it. And if the court thought you didn't really do it and were
    just faking to get a divorce (which everyone did of course, since it was the
    only way to get one... you should see some of the staged adultery photos of
    the time period that they put in the textbooks now, they're hilarious), they
    wouldn't grant it. In such a case, the married person who has realized amor
    with a 3rd party may be morally justified in 'submitting to eros' with that
    3rd party because it is the only socially feasible way to get released from
    their marriage contract and to end up married to their true amor. However,
    barring that one narrow, and now relatively ancient example, I would say
    that ultimately, eros over agape is immoral (though understandable on many
    levels).

    SAM
    > The thing is, in each of these cases, there is no real person to person
    relationship (or if there
    > once was, it has now died). I would imagine that the real 'vice' is where
    there IS a person to
    > person relationship, but that is turned over for either biological reasons
    (lust) or social reasons
    > ("I don't think you're the sort of person I want to be seen with" - I'm
    sure there are dramatic
    > examples of that, but I can't think of any just now. Maybe if Lady
    Chatterley had decided to reject
    > Mellors in favour of Lord Chatterley? Or the 80's teen movie "Some Kind of
    Wonderful" dealt with
    > these issues a bit). But I think this would be rare, simply because I
    can't conceive of a fourth
    > level individual having that much respect for society. Perhaps it might
    happen in an individual
    > still struggling out of their social constraints.

    RICK
    It's funny how you can't imagine a 4th level individual having that much
    respect for society, but you didn't mention disbelieving a 4th level
    individual would have that much respect for biology. I wonder if this is
    related to the 'alliance' thing. Also, "pretty in pink" is an 80's movie
    that may capture what you're talking about. The movie stipulates 'love'
    (supposedly amor) between the poor Molly Ringwald and wealthy Andrew
    McCarthy characters. Yet, because of peer pressure which revolved around
    their class differences, McCarthy refused to 'submit' to the relationship
    (don't worry, they get together in the end :-).

    thanks for your thoughts
    take care
    rick

    Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as
    one goes on. -- Samuel Butler

    MOQ.ORG - http://www.moq.org
    Mail Archives:
    Aug '98 - Oct '02 - http://alt.venus.co.uk/hypermail/moq_discuss/
    Nov '02 Onward - http://www.venus.co.uk/hypermail/moq_discuss/summary.html
    MD Queries - horse@darkstar.uk.net

    To unsubscribe from moq_discuss follow the instructions at:
    http://www.moq.org/md/subscribe.html



    This archive was generated by hypermail 2.1.5 : Sun Jun 15 2003 - 23:57:28 BST