Re: MD Marriages: To Beget or Not to Beget

From: Arlo J. Bensinger (ajb102@psu.edu)
Date: Sun Aug 28 2005 - 16:24:33 BST

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    [Arlo previously]
    Same-sex couples can adopt too. And what is your definition of "normal"? Is it
    simply heterosexuality?

    [Platt]
    A normal family since time immemorial has been a father, mother and
    children.

    [Arlo]
    From Wikipedia:
    "Precise definitions vary historically and between and within cultures, but
    marriage has been an important concept as a socially sanctioned bond in a
    sexual relationship. Marriage is usually conceived as a male-female
    relationship designed to produce children and successfully socialize them.
    Historically, most societies have sanctioned polygamy. The West is a major
    exception. Europe and the United States were monogamous cultures. This was in
    part a Germanic cultural tradition, a requirement of Christianity, and a
    mandate of Roman Law. However, Roman Law supported prostitution, concubinage,
    sex outside of marriage, homosexual sex, and sexual access to slaves. The
    Christian West formally banned these practices. Globally, most existing
    societies do not sanction polygamy as a form of marriage. For example, China
    shifted from allowing polygamy to supporting only monogamy in the 1953 Marriage
    act after the Communist revolution. Most African and Islamic societies continue
    to allow polygamy (around 2.0 billion people)."

    Wikipedia continues in "Polygyny":
    "The majority of human societies have probably permitted polygyny. It was
    accepted in ancient Hebrew society, in classical China, and in Islam. It was
    accepted in many traditional African and Polynesian cultures. In India,
    polygyny was practiced from ancient times onward, though historically only
    kings were polygynous in practise. For example, the Vijanagar emperor
    Krishnadevaraya had multiple wives. However, it was not accepted in ancient
    Greece or Rome, and has never been accepted in mainstream Christianity
    (although it was practiced in the early Mormon (LDS) church and survives in
    certain Mormon sects). The political and economic dominance of (at least
    nominally) Christian nations from the sixteenth to the twentieth century has
    meant that on the world scale polygyny is legally recognised in very few
    nations."

    So, your "time immemorial" is more than a little skewed. At any rate, its
    obvious from perusing historical changes to "marriage", from an arranged,
    property-driven, business transaction in which the female is often bartered as
    said property to forge an inter-familial relationship, from days when American
    slaves were "forbidden" from marrying, or when they were so allowed were often
    dissolved as they were sold apart to other owners, from men being allowed to
    keep consorts and mistresses, to coverture, to the relative recent "ideal" that
    marriage should be a voluntary union, decided upon equally by consenting
    adults, with no veto-power given to the patriarch, decided upon mutual love and
    sexual attraction.

    As for the "children" angle. From the Encyclopedia of North American Indians:
    "In native societies, the adults primarily responsible for child care were
    often not the parents. In hunting and gathering societies, it was more
    practical for grandparents to rear children too young to participate in
    economic activities."

    In Victorian England, child-rearing was, whenever economically possible, left to
    nannies. In Ancient Egypt, women were the sole child-rearers, the men were
    rarely involved in the life of their children until they reached maturity.
    These tend to represent more of a historical "norm" than the modern ideal of
    mutual collaboration and attentiveness in child rearing.

    [Arlo]
    Do you oppose divorce, Platt? After all, a child who grows up in a divorced
    environment does not have a "normal family" by your reasoning, does s/he?

    [Platt]
    Yes, I oppose divorce for the reason you mention. Don't you think it's
    better for children to grow up with a father and a mother? Or, perhaps
    you'd like to turn them all over to the state to bring them up as proper
    little Marxists. :-)

    [Arlo]
    Of course, I'd expect these to be your two options. "No divorce" or "Marxism".
    Let me ask, to clarify, should married couples without children be permitteed
    to divorce?

    [Arlo]
    As for you argument that allowing same-sex partners the same civil rights
    as heterosexual partners would undermine human evolution, you seem to
    suggest that (1) disallowing same-sex marriages will put thos gay people
    back into the procreation pool, and (2) allowing same-sex marriages will
    make more people gay.

    [Platt]
    How did you ever conclude that? A weird bit of reasoning as to what I
    suggest.

    [Arlo]
    It's very straightforward from your logic. Why would you attempt to skirt it?

    (1) You claimed that marriages preserve evolution, by being between a
    heterosexual couple capable of bearing children.

    (2) This implies that same-sex marriage must somehow threaten this evolution
    process.

    (3) The only two possible ways this could threaten the evolution process are (a)
    by removing potential sources of evolution from the procreational pool, or (b)
    by converting procreational sources to non-procreational status.

    (4) Restated (a) gays, when barred from same-sex marriage, will re-enter the
    procreational pool, and (b) were same-sex marriages legal, heterosexuals will
    "turn gay".

    (5) Which of these two is it? A belief that gays, seeing your legal ban on
    marriage, will enter into heterosexual marriages and beget children? Or, people
    like yourself, heterosexuals, will be tempted to change sides and enter into
    same-sex marriages?

    [Arlo]
    Would "you" become gay if same-sex marriages were allowed? Homosexuals are
    not going to become "straight" by preventing them from marrying, and
    heterosexuals are not going to become "gay" if we allow same-sex marriages
    to occur. Given this, how could you say same-sex marriages threaten human
    evolution?

    [Platt]
    Society ought to encourage arrangements such as heterosexual marriage
    which enable it to survive and evolve. What's your big hang up on
    promoting gay marriage anyway? I thought we agreed that democracy was the
    way to settle such policy issues?

    [Arlo]
    Again, how would allowing homosexual marriages threaten the survival and
    evolution on society? By turning heterosexuals into homosexuals? Is that
    something you fear from personal acknowledgement? I'm completely confident that
    in a society that allowed same-sex marriages I'd stay straight, and beget
    children. As would most heterosexuals I know. Not you?

    [Arlo then said]
    One doesn't need to be "married" to have kids, so I fail to see how
    "marriage" fosters evolution.

    [Platt]
    You think having kids out of wedlock is good for society?

    [Arlo]
    I've known many people raised in abusive "wedlock" situations. And many kids
    raised by loving single, or step, families. "Wedlock" ensures nothing. Loving,
    devoted, caregivers is what's important.

    [Platt]
    Do you know of any society now or in the past, civilized or not, that you
    would want to live in that exists without marriage? Anyway, if you love
    marriage so much, would you object to a law that allowed me to marry as
    many wives as I could? If not, why not?

    [Arlo]
    As consenting adults, I don't see what business it is of mine what marriage you
    decide to enter into. So long as none of your wives were threatened, coerced or
    intimidated, your living arrangements are your own. Why should I punish that?
    Having said this, I want to make clear that historically polygamist marriages
    were most often ones in which the "wives" were subserviant. This I am opposed
    to, as it restricts the freedom of those involved (or rather, trades the
    freedom of the female to enhance the freedom of the male). But, if you could
    show me your marriages were preserved equality and freedom for all involved,
    then, as Peter McWilliams says, it "ain't nobody's business if you do".

    [Platt]
    So, if gays marry and one is subservient, you would object? How would you
    define subservient? Can you show me any marriage of any kind that
    "preserves equality and freedom of all involved?"

    Does anyone agree with Arlo that polygamy is OK so long as no one's
    freedom is restricted?

    [Arlo]
    I find any arrangement where one partner is subserviant to the other immoral.
    Don't you? Do you feel it is moral, within marriage arrangements, for one
    partners ability to engage in Flow/DQ to be restricted by the other? I'm
    frankly shocked at this.

    But, you know, I guess I shouldn't be....

    Arlo

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