From: david buchanan (dmbuchanan@hotmail.com)
Date: Sun Oct 09 2005 - 00:43:50 BST
Howdy-duty Arlo and all MOQers:
I tend to agree with just about everything you say. In fact, I've been
meaning to thank you for that fine piece on alienation, where you put Pirsig
and Marx side by side. That was delicious. I printed it out and saved it.
But on this issue, which had become something of debate on the nature of
wealth, I think we might be in different camps. Let me explain...
I'm sure you already know all about it, but for those who may not have heard
I have to bring up the as yet undiscovered and hypothetical gospel known as
"R". As the hypothesis goes, there was a single source from which all the
other known gospels derived their passages on the issues of money and
wealth. I'm guessing that this must be what Erin has in mind. Perhaps you've
been in a cave for that last year or two and haven't heard about Dan Braun's
quasi-historical novel, "The Maglinchy Code"? There's some interesting
historical truth within this work of fiction, including the highly
controversial sections about the recently rediscovered gospel, the one that
is supposed to be the closest to the original, still unknown "R". In fact,
I have a copy of this recently rediscovered book, which is called "Paul's
SECOND letter to the Republicans" even though nobody has yet found the FIRST
one. In any case, I was tickled pink when I saw you quote Timothy 6:6-19
because it so closely resembled a section of the gospel I was reading. It
was one of those AHaha-ha moments. I could see how the passage from Timothy
had very subtley distorted the more orignal version, the one that's closer
to the "R" gospel. (It sure is nice to talk to somebody about this without
having to explain every little thing. Jeez, we're so smart.) Anyway, I'll
just give you the passage and you can judge for yourself. I'm not trying to
say that the original is better or truer. Not exactly. I'd just like you to
understand where Christianity is really going in this country. See if you
can detect the very subtle differences between Timothy 6:6-19 and this, II
Republicans 3:3-16....
"Indeed, religion with commitment is a great pain. For we brought
nothing into the world, just as we shall not be able to give anything
to the poor. If we give food and clothing, they become contemptible to us.
Those who need to be helped are falling into laziness and into a crappy
neighborhood full of bars and lustful desires, which plunge them into ruins
by the tracks. For the love of poor people is the root of all evils, and
poor people in their desire for help have strayed from the faith and have
shown themselves to be many pains. But men of the GOP, avoid all this.
Instead, pursue ruthlessness, deception, force, guile, pay checks, wallets
of
greatness. Compete well for the money. Lay hold of the life insurance to
which you were called when your maid answered the phone in the presence
of many waitresses. I charge (Visa) before GW, who cuts taxes in the high
brackets, and before Carl Rove, who gave testimony to the grand jury
for the fourth time now, to keep the 10 commandments in the courts
and on the news until the appearance of corruption and criminal behavior
passes
and then thoroughly smear the prosecutor at the proper time. King of beers
and Lord of Taylors, who alone has immunity from prosecution, who dwells in
unapproachable luxury, and from whom no human being has seen compassion, to
him be dollars and financial power. Amen. Tell the rich in the present age
not to be loud and do not relay or un-curtain the sting as wealth is best
kept by stealth, as when GW richly provides us with a huge rollbacks on the
estate tax. Tell them to be rich, to be rich in stocks, to seek benefits, be
ready
for shares, thus accumulating treasurey notes and a good condominium far
from
the poor, so as to retire on a well groomed golf course. Amen."
Or how about the slight but still detectable shifts in this famous
sayings...
II Republicans 6:2
"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the dirt."
II Republicans 16:3
"It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for
a black man to gain membership in a country club south of the Mason-Dixon
line."
II Repulicans 4:4
"Consider the lilies of the field. How much would they reap on the open
market?"
II Republican 3:16
"for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son a no-bid
contract so that whosoever do businessth with him shall not perish, but have
everlasting government checks."
II Republicans 7:7
"Go ye into all the world and bomb the shit out of it."
At the risk of insulting your intelligence here, I have to say that a person
only needs a few of these passages before a distinct impression emerges, an
impression of a new form of Chistianity. Oh yes, there's a new spiritual
picture of man in these subtle differences. This newly discovered document,
the one that seems to be sweeping the nation, paints a new Christ, a
Republican Jesus. And I think its quite an improvement, because if man is
made in God's image then God should look like a hateful sociopath. And he
should wear a pair of cowboy boots with his suit too. But its OK if we
disagree about this. Its just too bad that you won't be in heaven with Erin,
Platt and me, you commie.
Most insincerely,
dmb
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